Guest Blogger: Tales of the HKPD from Inspector Ma Lau Jai
Part 3: Ngoh Seung Tung Go Gweilo Gong!
Policemen the world over have interesting stories to tell about what we call ‘The Job’. A couple of language-related anecdotes from my own experience include the American lady who approached my PC and I when we were on uniformed patrol in Nathan Road. Having no doubt read in the guidebooks that English-speaking officers had red shoulder tabs, she looked at me – no red tab- and then looked at him – red tab. Appearing utterly flummoxed she asked my PC, “Does he (indicating me) speak English?” I decided that this little moment had some comedy mileage and we proceeded to have a three-way conversation with my PC translating her questions into Cantonese for me, and my Cantonese answers back into English for her. Incidentally the red tab system, which was only for PCs and Sergeants, was abolished a few years ago.
The other incident relates to a suicidal male that my team were called to handle in Mong Kok. He had had a sorry time of it and was threatening to slit his throat with a chopper and slice up anyone else who came near. There must have been a dozen cops and ambulance men at the scene, none of whom could get anywhere with him. As soon as he saw me however, that was it – “Ngoh seung tung goh gweilo gong”. So there I was chatting away in Cantonese about the trials and tribulations of a suicidal maniac armed with a meat cleaver. If I lost the thread at any point, he might kill himself or even go for me. Not much pressure then! I managed to wheedle the conversation round to something I am able to discourse about at length in Cantonese: football. Once he heard all about my own club team’s history of woe not to mention England’s appalling recent lack of success, I reckon it was he who ended up feeling sorry for me. He calmed down, gave me his chopper and went off to hospital like a ‘sei gau’ [lit. dead dog]. That evening I most certainly earned my pint of cool ‘sang lik’ [San Miguel – Our city, Our beer!].
Inspector Monkey:
Truly terrific entries. I have always had tremendous respect for the Cantonese-speaking cops on the Force.
I remember reading a passage in the Blyth/Wotherspoon book "Hong Kong Remembers" about some RHKP cops dressing up as Mormon missionaries in order to roam about certain neighborhoods (Sham Shui Po) without drawing too much suspicion. Have you ever tried anything like that?
I ask because my own experience living in Hong Kong and learning Cantonese began when I served as a Mormon missionary around ten years ago. I too went through a Canto-boot camp run by the church and, after six months in the field, was just flabbergasted when I saw a cop lau'ing out some guy in flawless Cantonese. Gave me something to look up to!
I wonder if in the future the SAR government would ever consider recruiting overseas again for gwailou constables (they still do for the ICAC, right?). I mean, without question you bring something unique to the table, skills that won't be easily replaced by locals once you've all retired.
Just my two bits anyway...
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I've not dressed up as a Mormon missionary yet but have masqueraded as an off duty US sailor (baseball cap, baggy trousers, American football shirt & loud accent) and once had to quickly grasp & kiss my WPC when one of our targets bumped into us in his left lobby before a raid.
No government department now recruits from overseas even Tic-tac (ICAC). I can't see them starting again either. The best bet is to begin taking on Non-ethnic Chinese from amongst HK's permanent residents. There are plenty of Indians, Pakistanis and Nepalese who speak Cantonese but are currently excluded from the Force as they can't read it. Any Police Force should be a cross-section of the community it polices and these people would be invaluable to us.
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I'm writing in from a dusty Internet cafe in India to thank the Inspector once again for his terrific and informative series of posts to Learning Cantonese. Who knew that the ICAC was called "Tic-tac" inside the force!?
Inspector, you've been a most popular blogger with the readers, according to the stats. I hope we can entice you to visit again.
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"went off to hospital like a sei gau"... LOL
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Many years ago (when I was poor and not long living in Hong Kong) I was living in Sham Shui Po with my then (mainland) Chinese girlfriend (I'm originally from Britain). The flat I rented was part of a sub divided larger flat, and the landlord decided to rent out one of the other rooms to a prostitute.
I don't think the woman ever used the room to do her business, but there must have been complaints or cops must have thought it was a bigger operation because in the middle of one night we were woken by loud banging on the front door before a loud thud as the door came of its hinges.
Then the banging started on our front door, coupled with shouting in Cantonese. I was pretty scared (it's the middle of the night, someone just knocked down the front door and now they are outside your front door) so I shouted back in English using some pretty strong language.
The result was a few seconds of silence before a guy saying in English, 'Open up, this is the police'. So I opened the door, and stood facing the gweilo copper, and him facing me. I'm not sure who was more surprised to see who!
The cops then proceeded to take down our details before disappearing into the night. We got a new front door the next day.
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